For those of you on social networking sites that ask you how to define relationships, you can appreciate the "it's complicated" title, I'll bet. Because regardless of whether you're single, dating, married, divorced, nun, or "other" (that last one always creeps me out a bit), you have to realize that all relationships are complicated.
This is even more so with family. We grow up with these people that we didn't necessarily choose, and we try to make it fit and work and put a lot of effort into these relationships because "blood is thicker than water." Except family is so very...complicated. It's not always easy.
At any rate, Father's Day happened yesterday. For reasons that are personal, and that I probably won't ever truly explain in a blog due to the fact that I don't like to blog about events where there are always other points of view (that doesn't seem quite fair to blog about), I'll just say that a phone call was not made, an email was not sent, a card was not mailed, and a gift was not given to my father. I love him very much and hope he is well, and I hold him in my heart, and in the light, but for the first time in my life I am choosing my well-being over his and because it has made the nightmares lessen, I know it is the right thing to do.
I look forward to the day I get to reconnect with my father, give him a fierce hug, and tell him that I am proud of the man he has become.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there who are strong, brave, fierce, protective, and loving. And happy Father's Day to all the mothers out there who stepped up and, in the place of a father, were just as strong and brave and fierce and protective and loving.
May the light shining from your children's faces tell you how grateful we all truly are.