Top 10 best things about being a female

Here we are, folks. Having received love, a few complaints, and a few laughs from my Top 1o Worst Things About Being a Female post, I revel now in writing about how truly, truly awesome it is to be a female most of the time. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I am off to an early start this weekend, and I hope you guys have some fantastic stuff planned. I've got a movie to catch tonight with friends I haven't seen in a while, a wedding to attend Saturday night, some butterflies to visit at the Natural History Museum on Sunday afternoon, and a lot of other fun stuff in between...and I'll hopefully have some pictures to share on Monday. So have a great weekend and enjoy reading all about the other side of being a woman. :)

1) I wouldn't trade my ability to multitask for just about anything. Good lord can women Get.Stuff.DONE.

2) Women can actually look GOOD in skinny jeans. Men, don't try this in public. Or at home. Hell, just don't try it at all.

3) In the wintertime, we can cheat and not shave as much. If guys don't shave, everyone notices. And while we're on the subject, can I get another amen that women don't have to put sharp blades near their THROATS in order to look respectable?

4) Unless a male is 150% sure that his opinion is correct, if he is arguing with a woman, he is wrong.

5) Women have more freedom to be emotional - and I'm not just talking stereotypes about PMS or crying to get out of speeding tickets. I'm saying that when a woman tears up during an amazingly inspirational speech or historic moment or highly emotionally charged event, she is called proud and fierce and strong and connected. If a guy tears up, how is it fair that society then deems him a wimp? Why is it that strong men are not allowed to cry?

6) Our secret weapons: little black dress, knee high boots, kick ass red lipstick, leather jacket.

7) People are a lot more forgiving of women who show up to the beach wearing very little clothing than they are of men who attempt the same thing.

8) The amazing networks of support that women create for each other, as my friend Lira pointed out in my last post. When the chips are down, we females can rally and hold each other up and there isn't a single force in the universe that is strong enough to break us.

9) Say what you will, agree or disagree: giving birth is an honor, a gift, something unique and special, that only women can do. Do not let yourself live in a culture that would paint you as weaker than a man for your ability to give life to another human being.

10) Amelia Earhart. Louisa May Alcott. The Bronte sisters. The U.S. Women's Hockey team. Maya Angelou. Jane Austen. Susan B. Anthony. Mia Hamm. Helen Keller. Rosa Parks. Clara Barton. Ella Fitzgerald. Harper Lee. Florence Nightingale. Eleanor Roosevelt. Sandra Day O'Connor.

And because I'm a cheater:

11) Being a lady. Remember what I said in #9, about not letting yourself live in a culture that would paint you as weaker than a man for your ability to give birth? Yeah. Add on to that this thought: do not let yourself live in a society that would tell you that in order to be a cool woman, you have to act like a man. We can be just as much fun as the guys and still be apologetically and unabashedly female, if we so choose.

12) One of the most powerful forces in this universe, something so incredibly commanding and intimidating that many grown men are terrified of it, religions have been created to undermine it, cultures and societies around the world strive to control it and crush it because of its dynamism and potency: a woman's sexuality.

Claim yours, use it wisely, and never, ever, EVER, let someone make you feel ashamed of your sexuality or tell you that it doesn't make you powerful.

Of course it does. That's the whole point.

Top 10 worst things about being a female

So last night, after a week or so of over-sensitivity, rage, insecurity, and neediness (sometimes I would literally go from one emotion to the next in about five seconds), I ended up breaking down in the middle of a PetCo parking lot for no apparent reason, then narrowly avoided the Halloween Candy aisle while grocery shopping (why? Why would you do that, people?! It's freakin' AUGUST) only to cave in when I saw ice cream sandwiches on sale.

When I got home, the groceries weren't even unpacked before I had devoured an entire ice cream sandwich in three bites.

Yep.

So to celebrate, um, monthly happenings and other things, I thought I'd come up with a top ten list of the worst things about being a girl. But in the interest of fair and balanced blogging, tomorrow you'll get the ten BEST things about being a female...if I can even narrow it down to ten, because being a woman (most of the time) rocks.

Anyways, here we go:

1) women: can spend upwards of hundreds of dollars on an outfit, spend hours doing hair and makeup, and get stuck all night in damn expensive shoes to look hot. men: throw on a shirt and tie, run hands through hair, good to go. Not.Fair.

2) The term "slut," which can mean anything from "how dare you have multiple partners?" to "how dare you reject me?"

3) What the hell am I supposed to do with a plastic pink kitchen set and an E-Z Bake Oven as a kid? Be domesticated by age 4? May I have the Lego's and G.I. Joe toys now?

4) There is something deeply wrong and troubling about this culture that women are expected to actually be able to stand on shoes that are supported by a thin stick the size of a pencil. Really? All my weight is supposed to go on that? Explain please...

5) Longer lines at the bathroom. Every time. It kills ya, doesn't it.

6) Thong underwear, and the fact that it exists.

7) Think about the last movie you saw where an average-looking guy experienced some sort of crisis that challenged him to rise above who he was before and save the day and his loved ones. I can think of about ten right off the bat.

Now think about the last time you saw an average-looking woman experience some sort of crisis that challenged her to rise above who she was before and save the day and her loved ones. Think hard. If you count Jodie Foster movies, the number goes up, but so far I've only got one in mind (here's a hint: it's an older horror movie that is absolutely brilliant and very well-known.)

8) Most lingerie.

9) Ah, the competitiveness of women against other women. Someone once asked what the world would look like if it was ran by women instead of men. To which I say: it would look a lot like high school. ::shudder::

10) Eye-lash curlers and other torture devices sneakily designed as helpful makeup tools. Not cool, guys...and I'm on to you... and I'm coming for you...