2011...

I have to say, I'm digging this year so far. Lots of things have kept me busy lately, but they are all good and productive and I am on fire these days (Details to follow in future blog posts.) Fist bump, indeed! (Thank you to everyone who gave me one for my last blog post. Each and every single proverbial fist bump kept me grinning like an idiot throughout this month.)

I usually do two posts for each new year - one looking back on the previous year, and one reflecting on the changes I want to make for the new year. Last year, for my 2010 post, I wrote about a dream I had - a dream where I was going to start putting myself first, before anyone else, for my own health and safety. And I think I can say, with total pride, that I accomplished that goal in 2010. I slayed dragons and I saved people, but I always saved myself first - I always made sure I was safe. Because at the time, last year, I was surrounded by people who didn't give a damn whether or not I could swim, and just kept trying to drag me under.

No more.

So, with that goal accomplished and some of those people neatly kicked to the curb (or at least fenced in more properly), what do I do with 2011?

2011, my friends - is the year I Get Happy.

Now, I'm not talking about The Secret (apologies to any of you who really enjoy The Secret - I do not) because I don't need Crap. I don't need Stuff. My main interest every day is finding more of the happiness that already exists within me - and then being able to express it outwardly towards others. I don't need a new job, or more money. My Get Happy isn't a wishlist of all the things I feel I'm lacking. It's a list of all the qualities I want to express more, it's a list of simple, free, easy, joyful things I want to accomplish and do with the people I love, and it's an examination of the things I do - those pesky patterns of behavior - that keep me from being happy and how to kick the ever-living crap out of those patterns.

I'm so excited, guys. You have no idea. I know 2011 is going to be amazing because I'm determined, no matter what happens outside myself, to feel grateful, confident, loving, and more relaxed.

Let's DO THIS THING!

(photo credit: I got it from here)

2010...

All I can say about 2010 was that it was, in fact, NOT 2009. (That's a compliment.) I had spent most of 2009 wanting to punch it in the face, and when 2010 came I greeted the new year much like the Parisians probably greeted their Allied liberators from the Nazi invasion. As in, Oh thank God you're here, can we kick this scum out now? So a lot of 2010 was me thinking, Well. At least it's not 2009. At least Nazi's aren't still running around the damn place.

And 2010, for the most part, was not bad. Oh, sure, it was challenging, but every year is. But as I settled into my new relationship with Benni, as I took more and more steps towards personal self growth and getting things accomplished, as my confidence grew... it slowly and steadily became a good year. Looking back, I wish I'd put less pressure on it and less expectations of how much better it was going to be than 2009, and just let it stand for itself. But at the end of the day, as I reflect how much I grew in 2010 and how many new things I tried... I wouldn't change it for the world.

To sum up 2010:

1) I rang in the new year with an incredible Flogging Molly concert on New Year's Eve. Amazing. One of the best New Year's celebrations of my life.

2) I got to visit Seattle for Valentine's Day, as my Christmas gift from Benni - and had a wonderful time exploring the city!

3) I threw a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies engagement party for my friends Eric and Stacy, complete with cucumber tea sandwiches, scones, and dismembered body parts.

4) I got my first tattoo!

5) I got to be a steampunk bridesmaid in a steampunk wedding.

6) I came out on my blog as a survivor (and took back my power).

7) I kicked some serious ass at San Diego's Comic-Con as Harley Quinn.

8) I took a leap of faith and love and moved in with Benni (and had one of the most terrifying conversations in my life).

9) I took a deep breath and made some important changes.

10) I went camping in Yosemite and then got some nifty new headshots taken.

11) I told my entire American Sign Language class that... well, just read the post.

12) I forced my family members to build gingerbread houses and take Awkward Family Photos for Thanksgiving.

And that was my year! Some of it was fun, some of it was hard, ALL of it contributed to making me even stronger and more kick ass than ever. I don't regret a single moment of 2010 :)

CAN I GET A FIST BUMP?

Thanks.

(photo credit: I got it from here)