perspective

Okay, so you're outdoors, at a beautiful park or garden or Buddhist temple, and you want cool photographs. You take a bunch of 'em but honestly, although they're pretty, they're kind of...busy. You know what makes a great photograph? A shot where you know what you're supposed to be looking at; one thing in the picture to focus on. This is why most touristy photos suck. Because the New York skyline in the middle of the day might look amazing to you because you were there, but to everyone else who just sees a blob of sky and a row of fifteen buildings, it's a bit boring.

Enter TiltShift.

The tilt-shift maker takes your photographs, blurs the foreground and background a bit, pops the color up a smidge, and viola!, it looks like your nature photographs are cool little miniatures. Wanna see?

Original photograph:

Meh. It's okay. Sort of boring, really. (It's okay, I have to be harsh with my photographs. I'm a photographer!)

Now check out this photo, post tilt-shifty goodness:

I KNOW, right? So much better.

So here's some more tilt-shift photos I took at The Huntington:

and the Buddhist Temple:

Much better, yes? Now you can show your friends and they don't have to feign interest. Yay!

PS tattoo pictures will be up by Friday. I promise. :)

patience is a virtue...

...which I usually don't have, so I suppose I don't really have a right to ask anyone else to have any either. Nonetheless, I haven't had a chance to get my tattoo pics uploaded from my camera and I have a ton more pictures of what I was up to during my blogging break that I want to share with you, so bear with me for a couple more posts while I get these pictures out of my system.

Also, to clear up a couple things: 1) a couple of you asked how on earth I got my idea for the Pride and Prejudice and Zombie engagement party, more specifically how the hell I came up with the idea to combine the two. Well, it's not my idea! There was a best-selling book that came out last year:

In which a contemporary author took the original Pride and Prejudice story and then added in a zombie story in the background. He's also publishing this book later this year, which I am pretty damn excited about:

Now if only Abraham Lincoln could take out that emo little vampire punk Edward Cullen...hmmm... :)

So that's where I got the idea from, given that the bride Stacy loves Pride and Prejudice and the groom, Eric... loves zombies. So it was kind of a match made in...purgatory?

Other things you need to know: 2) Yes, the tattoo hurt. Tattoos hurt. It's what happens when someone puts a needle full of ink to your skin and then goes back and forth, back and forth, along the same lines, over.and over.and over again. Was it totally worth it? You betcha. I love the look, it only took about 40 minutes, the pain, for what it was, was completely tolerable because it was on my lower back, and it's healing nicely as I'm pampering it and putting lotion on it every hour.

Also, before I leave you with a bunch of photos of what I've been up to over the past couple weeks: 3) don't give your cat catnip five minutes before you go to bed. This doesn't really have anything to do with my post or my pictures, I just felt it was an important life-lesson to share with everyone. Tell your friends. It could save lives. Or, you know, valuable hours of sleep.

And finally: one of my favorite girls in the entire world wrote this post about how the two of us met and her thoughts on my tattoo. It made me cry. Lira, I love you so much.

Now behold: pictures.

This is what happens when you loan your roommate three rolls of toilet paper over the past few weeks and then he decides to pay you back all at once, video-game style. I walked into my bathroom and found this EXACT set-up. Lovely, eh?

Desperate times call for desperate measures... in a stress-induced freak out attack I decided that getting a pedicure would make me feel better. This is the second pedicure I've ever had in my entire life. It totally worked.

These are some pictures I took at The Huntington Library and Gardens. I know, you're thinking, Where are the freakin' gardens? but I'm posting those later this week with a fun little tool that makes nature pictures look AWESOME. Yes, that required all caps.

Falcon!

Very Secret Garden-esque!

Benni, STAY ON THE PATH!!

We be real cool.

Ellesmere's illustrated Canterbury Tales!! I'm such a fan-girl of Chaucer.

I love this curmudgeon. He's one of my favorite poets of ever.

Buddhist temple in Whittier! Did you know it was there? I didn't!

The more levels there are, the harder it is for evil spirits to get in.

View from the top.

Happy Buddha is....happy.

View over-looking downtown Whittier.

K, so them's my first batch of pics. I will do another post of nature pictures in the next day or so, and then it's all about the tattoo, I promise!

Happy Monday!

the big reveal...in more ways than one

Ready for the truthiness? Yeah you are!

1) Even though I'm definitely a tomboy, I still put a lot of care into my appearance by doing my hair and makeup every day and making sure I always look my cutest. Hey, being a tomboy doesn't mean you have to dress like a guy :)

Lie. Total lie. Most of you called me on it too. Is it that obvious? Gah. At any rate, I'm not sure if it's laziness or having my priorities set straight, but I only wear makeup and do my hair for auditions. Life is too short to spend thirty seconds on some pokey-wand thing for my eyelashes and don't even get me started on curling or flat-ironing my hair. My daily wardrobe is a lot like this: tank top or t-shirt, sweatshirt, jeans, sneakers or flip-flops, and a pony-tail to finish it off. On Sundays when I go to church I take extra special care not to wear any clothing with holes in it, which is in itself exhausting to find in my closet. Holes in the clothing is like free air-conditioning. Plus I am more apt to get free coffee when my jeans have holes in them, not because my cute factor suddenly got upped to twelve but because I honestly think the Starbucks people think I'm homeless.

2) I went to modeling school when I was in junior high school, competed in modeling contests and shows, and even landed myself a modeling agent at one point. I also took professional acting classes as a kid at a renowned professional theater company in Southern California.

True! My parents, in a desperate attempt to teach me how to be a girl (it only backfired), enrolled me in a modeling school and I even had an agent at some point, who probably hoped (silly agent!) that one day I would be taller than 5'4". Not so. At any rate, as these things happen in the industry, my modeling agent stole money from her clients and skipped town back to New Zealand, but not before my mother tracked her down two hours before the flight and demanded our money back. My agent gave the money back to my mother, terrified. (This is why my mother is a bad-ass.) And I took professional acting classes at South Coast Repertory, a wonderful theater down in Orange County.

3) I worked retail once in LA and had Drew Carey as a customer. I asked him for his autograph - on his credit card slip. I had no idea who he was, but I did make him laugh really hard. I only found out it was him after he left the store.

True! Lemme explain this one - TV Drew Carey does not look like Real Life Drew Carey, nor had I ever watched a single episode of whatever show he was on. So this tall guy with NO glasses comes in and buys some books, I ask for his autograph on his credit card receipt, he laughs like it's the funniest thing he's heard all day, then meanders out the store. Another employee bee-lines for me and says, "Is he the first celebrity you've seen here?" And I say, "Oh, that wasn't a celebrity, I ask all the customers for their 'autograph' on their credit card receipts." She gives me a funny look and says, "No, that was Drew Carey." At which point my forehead wrinkles and I say, "I think I've heard of him. Doesn't he have his own TV show?"

4) I was a theater technician at my college, both during the school year and the summertime. I worked in the shop building sets, painting scenery, hanging lights from thirty feet above the stage, and did running crew as well for most of the productions.

True! I wandered into the theater tech shop the first semester in college and they didn't get rid of me for four years. They even started paying me.

5) I consider myself fairly fearless, but I hate roller-coasters. They scare the crap out of me!

Lie. I love roller-coasters! They're fun :)

6) I hate snakes. I can deal with spiders, cockroaches, bees, hornets, lizards, whatever...but snakes are gross.

Lie. I'm fine with snakes (my mother is terrified). I still remember 10th grade Chem class where someone brought in a beautiful boa constrictor and I volunteered to hold it and let it wrap itself around my entire body. It was gorgeous. I am, however, not a fan of cockroaches. At ALL. And bees make me a little nervous.

So there you have it. Three truths, three lies, no hard feelings. Everyone had great guesses and I loved all the comments.

But one comment in particular got my attention, from my blogger-friend Bathwater, who noted, quite correctly, "And the other adventure you are making us wait about.......hmmmmm?"

Which is that I haven't yet shown you guys the design for the tattoo I'm getting on Saturday!

Thanks, Bathwater, for the reminder :)

So without further ado, here's the tattoo I'm getting:

My friend Robert, who is a professional calligrapher, scripted the word for me. Entheos has three meanings, all of which I am absolutely in love with:

a) The Greek word entheos literally means "God within."

b) Entheos is the root word for our English word "enthusiasm," which I have in spades.

c) The American mythologist Joseph Campbell wrote that entheos is the suppositional opposite of entropy. Entropy is the theory that everything is moving towards chaos; entheos is the theory that everything is moving towards God.

How could I NOT get this word on my body??

So have a great weekend everyone...and think of me squirming in my chair, getting a tattoo and trying to be a tough girl. Once it's all healed on my body I will definitely be showing you guys pictures :)

catching up on pictures...

So while I keep you guys guessing for one more post about what's fact and fiction when it comes to my life, I thought I'd deliver you guys up some pictures from the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies engagement party I threw a couple weeks ago...that was not MY engagement party.

Just so we're super clear on that one. Heh...heh...hrmmm.

Might as well laugh about it.

Anyways, enjoy! And these were all pictures that I took with my normal camera, then went here and downloaded an application that turns them into Polaroid-looking pictures. Nifty, eh?

The groom-to-be, Eric, munching on a scone. My friend Kelice in the background, looking all dainty.

Blood-splattered Mandy filling out a couples-quiz.

Zombified me, looking like my eyeliner skills suck.

I made red-velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, crumbled Oreo on top, then stuck in doll hands. They came out perfect.

Oh, $1.29 daffodils at Trader Joe's, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

All the tea sandwiches were a hit, but the crowd favorite was cucumber and cream cheese.

For favors, we grabbed red and black tea-light holders, put some Spanish moss and rocks in them, then half-buried bloody doll torsos and glow-in-the-dark zombie finger puppets.

Somebody left their hand at the party. I still haven't tracked down who the owner is yet... ::clears throat:: Will the owner of their missing right hand please come claim it? It's still dripping in my kitchen sink! ;)

Perhaps it belonged to this young zombie...my friend Isaac had the best costume by far!


Yes, I'm aware I'm a dork because there are no pictures of the BRIDE-to-be... but it's not my fault. I took about four pictures then went back to making sandwiches and heating up scones.

I know...excuses, excuses. The groom-to-be did record a video of it, though...maybe I'll see if he can put it online and you guys can see how pretty (and blood-splattered) everyone looked. Yay!

truthiness

Okay, so sometime in the last two weeks when I wasn't blogging I got tagged not once, but twice, for the same award. It looks like this:


And it comes with the homework assignment that I have to write 6 things about myself, some of them true, at least one of them not so true, then let you guys guess in the comments section (only if you want to) what is and isn't accurate, and finally I'll reveal the truth in another post later this week. Oh, and I also have to tag seven people to do the same, if they are willing and able. :) Phew. Sounds like a lot of hard work, no?

Since I haven't done one of these "facts all about me" posts in a while, (I tend to lean more towards raconteur-style blogging, I like to think - maybe that's why I got a Creative Writing award?) and it's Monday and everyone's screaming at each other like five year old children over every single internet forum about the Health Care bill that passed, I thought: why not avoid all topical, political, and personal debate today and just blab on about myself for a post? Well, why not indeed.

Ergo:

1) Even though I'm definitely a tomboy, I still put a lot of care into my appearance by doing my hair and makeup every day and making sure I always look my cutest. Hey, being a tomboy doesn't mean you have to dress like a guy :)

2) I went to modeling school when I was in junior high school, competed in modeling contests and shows, and even landed myself a modeling agent at one point. I also took professional acting classes as a kid at a renowned professional theater company in Southern California.

3) I worked retail once in LA and had Drew Carey as a customer. I asked him for his autograph - on his credit card slip. I had no idea who he was, but I did make him laugh really hard. I only found out it was him after he left the store.

4) I was a theater technician at my college, both during the school year and the summertime. I worked in the shop building sets, painting scenery, hanging lights from thirty feet above the stage, and did running crew as well for most of the productions.

5) I consider myself fairly fearless, but I hate roller-coasters. They scare the crap out of me!

6) I hate snakes. I can deal with spiders, cockroaches, bees, hornets, lizards, whatever...but snakes are gross.

K, so that's it! Feel free to play along and post six facts about yourself on your own blogs, or take the time to guess which facts about me you think are true in my comments section. I tag:

Happy Hour...Somewhere, because she cracks me up

A Polar Bear's Love Song, because she's my bestest friend

The Struggling Actress, because I can't wait to see what she comes up

James Gang in Kearney, because he needs an award that isn't pink and frilly on his page and I'd love to learn more about him and his family

Jeans Friday, because I love her sense of humor, hilarious stories about her dad, and how open she is with her heart

Okie over at Cucullus non facit monachum, because he loves Latin as much as I do and is a true creative writer

and Clarity over at Clarity in Wonderland, because we've never met and she's still my British bff who offers me Cadbury Creme eggs and a good listening ear in a crisis, even as she is going through her own grieving. Clarity - I'll let you know in December if I'm going through withdrawal and need any creme eggs. In the meantime, darling, if there is anything I can do for you...just let me know. ::Hugs::

So that's it!

Oh, and many, many thanks to the two lovely bloggers who passed along the award to me: B. Nagel, whose creative and anecdotal writing is simply amazing (check out one of his short stories here) and Robin, who blogs every single day, leaves the kindest comments on my posts, and is so compellingly honest and direct in her writing style (like in this post)- it just blows me away.

Go and check out B.'s and Robin's facts if you have the time, too!

Happy (completely politics-free!) rest of your Monday!

well, well, well...

Look who disappeared from blogging for two weeks and then has the nerve to come crawling back... (Oh wait, that's me.)

Hi guys!

Life has been, uh, interesting, for the past couple weeks and I honestly didn't get many chances to post much...nor did I really want to. You see, on top of all the other crazy stuff that is going on in my life, which includes but is not limited to financial problems, family health emergencies, friendships exploding in my face, errands and duties to do now that I've been tapped to be in a friend's wedding as a bridesmaid (where I get to walk down the aisle with my ex, no, I'm not kidding) and a client's crisis landing in my lap to deal with (yes, all of this happened in the last two weeks... I can take one day at a time but when they all attack at once I get my ass kicked) I got...The Phone Call.

Now, mind you, I'm getting about four to five hours of good sleep these days. When my life is spontaneously combusting, my mind does not shut off and rest and relax for a good 8 hours at night. No. It runs over possibilities and anxieties and worries again and again and again, like a damn marathon runner in my brain. My skin gets a little thinner, my temper a little shorter, and suddenly I find myself crying during Dr. Who re-runs or having a freak out attack because Trader Joe's is out of my favorite ice cream sandwich. I need that ice cream sandwich to cope with life, dammit.

So my mother called me early last Thursday morning while I was still in bed, and the conversation went something like this:

Phone rings. I pick it up.

Me: Mrghghgsmmmhello?

Mom: Tracy. How are you?

Me: Mrghghmmmokay?

Mom: Is there something going on? Something you'd like to tell me?

Me: ::blinks:: What?

Mom: Is there something that you haven't told me yet?

Me: Uh.... I'm getting a tattoo?

Mom: About you and Benni?

Me: (briefly wonders in my sleep-deprived state if I'm pregnant and my mom somehow found about it before I did. Dismisses the idea, moves on.) Um...

Mom: Are you and Benni engaged?

Me: What?! No. No, we are not engaged. (turns over to a sleeping Benni in bed beside me and fights the urge to whisper, did we get engaged last night and I completely forget? How many root beers did I have last night?)

Mom: Oh. You're not engaged.

Me: NO! No, we're not. Where did you get that idea?

Mom: We-ll....

So it turns out that someone who reads this blog (and yes, I know who it is, and no, I'm not naming them here) read my last post, the following sentence in my last post, to be precise:

"So blogging is going to be light this week because I'm up to my eyeballs in work AND I'm in the final days of getting ready to throw my friends an engagement party this weekend ( I promise I'll take pictures - the theme is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!)"

and decided it meant that Benni and I were engaged. And then decided to call my immediate family and tell them that I was engaged. Which immediately set my brothers and mother off as they were sure (and rightly so) that if I ever DO get engaged they will not find out from someone else who read my blog that one time.

Isn't life cute?

So my life officially went to Defcon 1 at that point, and I sort of walked away from the blog for a little bit. Because if you think you love firing up your computer and sitting down to write another blog post because the coolest, funniest, most awesome thing just happened to you... try sitting in front of a blank screen, feeling like whatever you write will be used against you to f*&k with your personal life. It's considerably less thrilling.

Now, here's the thing: I have a public blog. I'm fully aware that I have a public blog, that I do not use a pseudonym, that I post pictures of myself and use the real names of my friends, family and loved ones. This comes with consequences... it always does. I don't moderate comments, anyone can find this blog if they Google search me or go through my website...and for the most part, this has worked out totally fine. My reasoning is, if I blog like an adult and treat my followers and commentators like adults, the drama will be at a minimum. And although I'm sure there will come a day when that reasoning blows up in my face, today is not that day.

So if 99.8 percent of the time I get nothing but coolness from everyone, and .2 % of the time things go a little haywire, I'm fine with that. It was just the most excellent display of I Really Don't Need This Right Now that I've seen in awhile.

And please, please, from a (mostly) adult blogger to her (mostly) adult followers and commentators: don't take the time or energy to guess who this person is or say something crappy about them in the comments section. They were made aware of their mistake, they feel awful. Life goes on.

Last Sunday I was telling someone I respect quite a bit about this whole incident and she just sighed and said, "As human beings we will spend the rest of our lives accidentally hurting each other's feelings." And I nodded, because I did that this past week too, I hurt someone deeply simply by opening my mouth and using what I thought were totally innocuous words, but they hit a nerve and someone I cared about was a little wounded. Right now I'm a little wounded too. It hurts that someone scanned my blog, leaped to a very important and very incorrect conclusion, then felt the need to alert my family and cause more chaos and bad communication.

We will spend the rest of our lives accidentally hurting each other's feelings. So instead of holding ourselves back or giving up on others, we learn to forgive ourselves, and forgive each other, and know that tomorrow is another chance to get a little bit closer to becoming the person we want to be.

working like a dog...

...and I've got the picture to prove it:

Yes, that's me on the homepage of Petsmart.com, feeding my favorite basset hound Sadie a treat. :)

So blogging is going to be light this week because I'm up to my eyeballs in work AND I'm in the final days of getting ready to throw my friends an engagement party this weekend ( I promise I'll take pictures - the theme is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!) and life is still pelting me with both good and bad stuff, left and right. I'm beginning to feel like I'm in a batting cage with a hell of a lot of lemons. And an occasional Thin Mint Girl Scout cookie. Ooooh, cookies....

Before I jet off, quick story to illustrate how exhausted my brain is:

I finally got to hang out with one of my favorite girls ever on Sunday night, and as we're chatting she asks if I'd like something to drink? I say sure, what do you have, and she offers me the choice of orange juice or apple juice. I open my mouth to say "apple juice" and instead, through some random misfiring of my mind, or, I don't know, maybe the hamsters that run my frantic brain stopped to take a five minute breather, I instead blurt out "Burbank."

We both just stare at each other for a full minute in silence while I'm deciding whether to laugh or cry. She says, quite kindly, "I don't know what that means," and I play it cool. "I'll have apple juice instead," is what I say and try not to look judgmental, because, really, who doesn't have fresh squeezed Burbank sitting in their fridge?

I need a nap. And another Girl Scout cookie.