Monday, January 30, 2012


I will be the first to admit that 2011 was a fairly difficult year for me. As Lira said during one of her many, many pep talks, "2011 is your J.K. Rowling year! It's the year you hit rock bottom so that you can once again build your foundation!" Thanks Lira! Please don't become a motivational speaker!

The bad part about hitting rock bottom is a) it's never really rock bottom, so you're painfully aware that while it feels like you have lost everything, you have so much more that you could lose, and b) just like jumping off a bridge or out of a plane, it's the landing that kills you. It's the staying down, with zero energy to get back up and pick the grass out of your teeth, that is the hardest part. So we'll say that 2011 is the year I worked on my bounce, shall we?

I learned to bounce back, and roll with it, and flip the switch that says, NO. This isn't going to ruin my whole day/week/month. And for that... for that I give myself kudos. It's a muscle, that voice that says "I can still turn this around," and it needs to be exercised. Hourly. Like a chihuahua with a reeeeeeallly small bladder. Because the last two months of 2011 were some of the best I've ever had in my life. And if I'd given up on 2011... if I'd walked away or thought there goes the entire year I would have missed out on some pretty great stuff.

To sum it all up:

1) I got some stuff off my chest.

2) I got two raises in a week (right after some major car problems that sucked mightily).

3) I drowned you guys in more poetry (not that you complained).

4) I called a religious idiot out for predicting the end of the world.

5) I successfully raised the funds for a season 2 of my web-series, booked a role in an indie feature, and got some new headshots taken

6) I hit rock bottom with my car and my career

7) I sucked it up and bought a new car (see: aforementioned rock bottom-hitting)

8) I had a crazy summer of bbq's, baseball games, San Diego Comic Con, and camping at Yosemite.

9) I learned to let it go, shake it out, bounce back, and turn the year around.

10) and then in the last two months of 2011, I got engaged, booked a national commercial, booked a print (modeling) job, debuted an independent horror film that got almost 3 million views online, started shooting my web-series, and got a theatrical agent. Oh, and I also threw up a lot. But so did Benni so let's not hear any pregnancy whispers, shall we? (Eric, I'm looking at YOU.)

Want to know what 2012 has in store for me? Yeah, me too. Hopefully this year will be even more kick ass!

And involve a lot less vomit.

Stay tuned!


Elisabeth said...

It's all about the ups and downs, Tracy, as I see it, the roller coaster of life. And it's better than a merry go round where you keep seeing the same old things, but roller coasters can give you some pretty frightening rides.

I'm glad you got to the end of 2011 in top form and hopefully 2012 promises more of the same, good stuff that is and less of the bad, vomits etc.

Anthony Duce said...

All in all, life seems to be exciting, and exhausting, with something better to look forward to in the coming days. Sounds like a good time to be alive.

Jo said...

Here's to a 2012 that builds on November and December of 2011!

Gwen said...

I can feel that 2012 has some amazing things in store for you already!!! And will definitely include less vomit. LOL! Love ya!

Eric W. Trant said...

My 2012 is looking good so far. 2011 was a beast-year, as the kids would say.

Everything is "beast" with these younguns today. I feel so old. I asked my son something the other day, and he said, "Naaaaah."

I said, "No?"

He said, "Daddy, 'naaah' means yes."

Alrighty, then.

And Tracy C's 2011 year was pretty outstanding, too. You'll need a tabloid name, soon, you know. I propose a near-term post topic should be just that!

Give Tracy and Ben their tabloid names, so when you start hitting the news columns this or next year, they'll have a good one for the headlines, like Brangelina and J-Lo.

T-Ben? Bency? Trency? T-Clif.

I like that last one.

T-Clif wears mask and cape to awards ceremony. Was it really her?

T-Clif protests women's rights between shoots of her latest film, threatens to personally kick anyone's ass who lands a woman in a shelter.

T-Clif and husband Ben announce twins!

2012 may be the end of the world, but isn't that a good things sometimes?

And yes, I see you looking at me. You are now jinxed with the baby-bug. It'll sneak up on you!

- Eric

monster said...

Wait --- Benni's pregnant???

I like the idea of working on your bounce. Here's to a year of bouncing higher and higher.

Wine and Words said...

Maybe I will be rubber in 2012. 2011 saw me rather cemented. You're right. The rock bottom is limitless. I am learning to be grateful wherever I am. The grass in my teeth is greens for a meal. I smile at your happiness and blessings Tracy!

Deech said...

This is a good summary. Food for thought for me....

Lydia Kang said...

What a great ending to a tumultuous year. And at the end of it all, here you are, still with a great attitude.

Let's hope that 2012 builds on the good energy of December!

drollgirl said...

well here's hoping 2012 is all smiles! and less vomit! :)

Lira Kellerman said...

Much less vomit. And only tears of happiness. Yay 2012!!!

Robin said...

2011... I can't say it started very well for me either. Definitely ended better. Of course, 2012 kicked off much like 2011. Oops... talking about me again. The good news in bad starts is that there is nowhere to go but up. The good news in good starts is that is you are already on an awesome roll. So glad that the end of 2011 turned around for you so that you could start 2012 off right. Of course, there was the vomiting. You see, that does give you a launching point... all kinds of room for improvement if you use that as Ground Zero for your start of 2012.

In any event, I predict that this is going to be a fabulous year for you. Success. Joy. Love. All the good stuff. And if there are any tears, they will be happy ones. It is just going to be that kind of year!!!!

Barbara said...

All I can say is you're off to a great start!! Keep it going on all that positive works.

Bathwater said...

The fall doesn't matter if your cat like reflexes and bounce land you back on your feet in the end.

I am not singing the praises of 2011 either but there are always parts to remember if you remember to enjoy those moments when they occur.

That is my recent motto, enjoy the moments.

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

Less vomit for sure!!
I think 2012 is going to be great!

Gisizee said...

I don't know if I can say it any better than the comment about less vomit! 2011 was a vomitworthy year for me too, and got better at the end, and now shows some real signs of entirely not sucking! It's great you take us along on your journey Tracy - you one tough cookie and a real inspiration - whether up or down!

kj said...

ah tracy, i'm late because blogger keeps rejecting my ticket to the celebration. good thing i've dressed up a bit tonight, because hear i am :^)

i've come to the conclusion that life is hard; this from an optimist with her share of wonderful people and experiences. i've also learned, reluctantly, that bounce is a super good skill. my friend tracie, a songwriter, wrote a song about hearts that bounce instead of break. that's encouraging all by itself.

what's obvious is that you show up. that means the little things will find you if you don't find them first

and those little things? you already know: they aren't so little

p.s. 3 million hits?! that is fantastic. i hope 2012 astonishes you every which way


Jo Schaffer said...

What a totally radical way to finish out 2011!You will rock 2012. (=

The Kid In The Front Row said...

Thanks for sharing your life with us :)

Ed Pilolla said...

vomiting aside, you are an inspiration. i mean it. i was down and out for much of 09 and 10. 2011 was a big rebound year for me too, but not financially, which is fine. i'm so broke i really don't care anymore. but i did some authentic things that will only grow in my life. you have a special spirit. it is especially marvelous in flight.

Red Shoes said...

Less vomit for any year is a very good thing, I think...

(Did I mention vomit in my last comment? lmbo )

As Elisabeth said, Life is full of ups and downs... enjoy the 'ups'... don't get too bummed by the 'downs'...

Life IS good... it really is...


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