Tuesday, May 4, 2010

ohhh....we're halfway there....

"You were happy once; you were sunshine and smiles and a brightness that radiated. You may be cloudy now, you may not want to sing. You may just want to fold inside of yourself, on the oldest couch you can find, by the biggest window, and watch it rain.

You used to find that little things made you happy; now you can’t even find the big things. Somehow, along the way, you lost yourself.

One foot in front of the other, sweetheart, and you will find your way back."



- working on it, kids. Change is a foot (get it, get it? Double entendre FTW) and I'm going to be making some big decisions soon about how I've lived my life...and how to move forward and live MY life.

Stay tuned...

35 comments:

Kate said...

I'm so glad you've chosen to do this. Being brave will make you so much stronger.

Phoenix said...

Kate - thank you. That means so much to me right now, you have no idea.

Miss Anne said...

yay you!

on the edge of my seat anticipating your news

Eric W. Trant said...

NO idea what you're talking about, but good luck with it.

We define ourselves not by the easy times, but by the hard times.

Go define yourself.

- Eric

B. Nagel said...

Whoa.. Ohhh. . .Living on a pra-ayer?

Best from the 'Sip. Change is never easy, but worthwhile things seldom are.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

Dang...I will be on pins and needles wondering now. I loved those first 3 paragraphs. I almost wrote a post on the subject of delight...I saw the look on someone's face recently, real delight, and realized how long it has been since I had that feeling over just the simple things in life.

Staying tuned~!

Wine and Words said...

Are we kinda like...on the same planet? I just wrote this today...

I wake up, thinking my grieving gone, and it sucker punches me in the stomach...not the wimpy punch of an ineffectual girl. The upper cut of a cage fighter who has already caught me doubled over, followed by an elbow to the back of the neck and I am done..flattened, before the day had a chance, before the morning sun could take hold and chase shadows from lonely corners, before coffee could clear the circling dreams of want and desire.

And then God lifts my head, and speaks his breath into my mouth, brushing teeth Crest clean. "Rise little one. Round two."

Good luck on your round two. It's hard work, no? But you have humor enough to navigate. Of this I am sure. Walk on girl. I'll give you my shoes.

~ Annie

Dionne said...

Did you write this poem?

And what are the changes? Spill those beans already!

Marion said...

I just read a poem by Rabia of Bastra (c. 717-801) and I think it's meant for you, dear Phoenix:

THE SKY GAVE ME ITS HEART

The sky gave me its heart
because it knew mine was not large enough to care for the earth the way
it did.

Why is it we think of God so much?
Why is there so much talk
about love?

When an animal is wounded
no one has to tell it, "You need to heal"; so naturally it will nurse
itself the best it can.

My eye kept telling me, "Something is missing from all I see." So it went in search of the cure.

The cure for me was His Beauty, the remedy---for me was to
love.

xoxoxo, Marion

Indigo said...

Changing one's life is indeed courageous. Whether it be by choice or circumstances in the end we make our own choices.

Nothing comes of life without sacrifices. I know whichever path you choose sweet friend, it will be marked with grace and spirit. (Hugs)Indigo

Wine and Words said...

I'm so sorry. Thanks for sharing with me. Really really sucks. I'll just sit with you in it...butt cheeks to the stool in our corner of the ring while they feed us ice chips and stitch the gashes of our eyes.

((Hugs))
` Annie

Joker_SATX said...

The Joker waits with baited breath at the outcome....

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

All the best, don't look back dear!!
easier said than done...but you know what I mean...
xo

natural selection said...

After reading your poems and going over your movie selection I have decided: "Al la Garth Alger" we're fre-nds..now..

I'm also planning a "coup" on NetFlix I don't waTCH T.V or have cable you with me Phoenix?

Lira said...

You have so much support not just from me, but from everyone. The choice you make is the right one.

Robin said...

I read what you wrote because I linked to the post, too. Now, more than ever I am in your cheering section. Always have been, always will be. Just a little something to think about... "Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers." ~ Richard Bach

drollgirl said...

i hope things are ok? i am a bit worried, but you are a smart and strong woman and i hope things are going to be ok with you.

krista said...

there is nothing some long hair and tight pants won't cure.
xoxo

Lori ann said...

May the Sun bring you new energy by day.
May the Moon softly restore you by night.
May the Rain wash away your worries.
May the Breeze blow new strength into your being.
May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.
~ Apache Blessing

love to you sweet girl,
lori

Heather Taylor said...

Oh boy, this sounds exciting and intriguing! Keep us tunes, I'm rooting for you!

Elisabeth said...

You may not intend it this way, but to me this entry has a sinister ring as if something awful is happening and you're having to cope and adjust.

Whatever it is, I hope it's not too difficult.

Take care to moderate the changes, maybe not too much all at once, if that is possible.

Bathwater said...

Change is a scary thing, as many of us well know, but the rewards are worth it or so I'm told. What I do know is trying to achieve your goals is always worth it.

It would be a blessing to see you happy and that comfy old couch in front of the window is always there, for watching the rain when times get tough and you need a break or friend.

Barbara said...

Change is good. Change is growth. You're young. Now's the time. Go for it!

littlemissjuicy said...

I needed this! It's a day at a time.
Thanks for the reminder. :)

P.S: Thank you for your comment on my last post. I'm glad I can count on you for perception.

natural selection said...

What about the dance along the way..?

g. fox said...

Don't know what's going on, but I couldn't have read this at a more appropriate time. I hope everything is okay (or at least that it someday might aspire to be). I'm just a hop skip and a cyberjump away if you need a friendly, melancholic ear.

Juliana said...

You are so incredible Phoenix. You are taking charge of your life and being the change you want to see. You are inspiring so many other people. Amazing.

Purple Cow said...

FIVE SHORT CHANGES ON CHANGE - Author unknown

Chapter 1.
I walk down a street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's my fault.

Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's not my fault.

Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5.
I walk down a different street.

Wine and Words said...

How are you doing young one? I am thinking about you, still sitting with you as you sort it out, find your way....

Love
annie

Dave said...

When all else fails....cold beer and a fishing pole....if that doesn't work, warm milk and a cookie. :) Hope you're doing alright...just remember you're awesome.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

When faced with two paths, the one you'd really rather not do is usually the right one. It is one of the eight rules I live by. So far it hasn't steered me wrong. Though the ride has often been rough and scary, Roland

tenure.track.mommy said...

Thinking of you Tracy. I hope you are okay.

Kristin Quinn said...

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up well! But I'm so excited for you. Change is so wonderful and refreshing and the best thing you can ever do for yourself. Maybe its because its so scary and once we jump past that huge hurdle the reward feels even greater. So whatever you decisions you make, trust that they are leading you in the right direction!

Charmed by the Star Filled Texas Sky said...

Such a pretty poem, and really great to hear!! :)

Des said...

Wow, this set of posts have been powerful and moving. I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. But it is clear to me that you are an intelligent, witty, and strong person. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed reading your blog and reading your perspective on the world. I'm sure that I speak for all of your readers when I say that you are so respected and valued, and please know that we are all here for you.

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