Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Thanksgiving conversation

So we're all sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner and we have this tradition where after everyone has dished their food but before we're allowed to eat any of it we all go around the table and say what we're grateful for, so this way we can all listen to each other ramble and stare longingly as the food on our plates get cold. I like to think my mom came up with this idea as a way to teach us willpower, or patience, the former of which I have tons of, the latter, um, not so much. In reality, though, especially after she reads this, she'll probably come back with something like, "It teaches you GRATITUDE for your food."

Which is true, I am much more grateful for my mashed potatoes when they are room temperature.

So as usual I make some smart-ass comment at the table so everyone elects me to talk first and I say how I'm grateful for the food that we have on the table and that I'm able to be with the ones I love on Thanksgiving, and we go around the table and we finally get to my mom, who mentions a few things she appreciates about all of her children and when she gets to me she notes that she really enjoys reading my blog (Mom, I keep forgetting you read this damn thing) and really likes my writing style, even when I call her weird.

Six more pairs of eyes at the table swivel towards me as the following conversation happens at the dinner table during Thanksgiving.

Brother: You called mom weird on your blog?

Me: Wait, what? Can we start over?

Mom: You called me weird.

Me: I did not.

Mom: You did too. There's a picture of me with Bobby (the kitten we got her for Christmas last year) and underneath it says "Weird."

Me: No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. The blog TITLE is called "Weird" and I put that picture up to make me happy. It's your mother's day blog, remember?

Mom: Well, then, why do I keep seeing that picture with the word "weird" underneath it?

Me: I didn't put the word "weird" underneath! The picture isn't weird, I wouldn't do that!

Cousin: God, Tracy, why do you have to be such a dick?

Me: Okay, we're going to get to the bottom of this RIGHT NOW.

(By this time everyone else is eating).

So I head over to the computer in the living room and sign into my blog, and pull it up on the screen.

Then I call everyone over from eating their dinner, because sometimes I really am a dick.

Me: (pointing) Look. LOOK. It does NOT say "weird" underneath the picture. The "Weird" is the BLOG TITLE.

Mom: Well, then it shows up somewhere else in your blog, a lot smaller, where it calls me weird.

Me: (starting to get a bad feeling) Wait, do you mean...this?

And sure enough, when it comes to the smaller little links at the bottom of my posts that show related posts with the same labels, there it is. A picture of my mom with the kitten and it says "weird" underneath.


Me: Okay, fine, would you like me to change the title of the blog?

Mom: YES.


So I did.

I changed the blog title to this. And the punchline is? When I look at that blog in the "You Might Also Like" section, it STILL says "weird." Even though I've changed the title.

God hates me.

PS If you want to read my mom's response to the questions I asked her in the "Weird" post, they're here, and they're adorable.


Iva Messy said...

oh no oh no!! not weird. at.all.

"BEST MOM EVER" as the label says!!!! ;)

drollgirl said...

HAHAHA!!! weird isn't SO bad!!! of all the words out there, it really isn't!

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

You brave girl! No one in my family even knows how to find my blog, or that I blog. My sister would kill me!!!

jenn said...

haha so funny! and i went back and read the posts in question - your mom is so funny. i loved her answers to your questions - especially the brownie dress, and her telling you to spend more time with her at laguna beach. i hope you do!

Wilder said...

Is your mother saying there's something wrong with being weird? My mother is weird. I'm weird. My whole family is weird.

If you're not weird, you're not doing anything someone else couldn't do instead.

Phoenix said...

My mom is definitely weird, and I'm VERY weird. I think my mom is just a little shy about being CALLED weird, but I'll let her know that since I can't change the damn post title anyways, it'll all be okay.

And Jenn - I love spending time with my mom and plan to definitely go back to Laguna Beach with her :)

Lira Kellerman said...

actually, if you copy and paste everything into a new blog entry with the new title, and on the date section of the blog, put in the original date, you CAN indeed change it. A few extra steps, sure, but assurance you're still in the will.

Lori ann said...

So hilarious, your poor Mom! she is cute and not weird at all. i've had blogger stubbornly refuse to acknowlege changes i've made, sometimes you just have to walk away.
and i love your new look and new photos. did i tell you how cute you are?

Honey Bee said...

Hahahahahah this is sooo funny!
Thank God no one from my fam reads my blog!

Gwen said...

That's funny. You should tell your mom to embrace the "weird" title and just let loose. LOL!!! XOXO

A New England Girl said...

Hahah... I laughed but I also got the, "aww, your poor mom!" feeling. I don't mind the word weird, so I don't think I would be offended. :) But I'm glad you changed it for her... I would have laughed way too much over that conversation and I probably would have offended her even more!

Deech said...

I had no idea your mom read this blog....

...Now I am self conscious to some of the comments I made. She and your family will start coming down on you for the company you are keep with me around....sheesh!

Kristy said...

change it to "awkward"

Dionne said...

Hahahaha, I cracked up when I got to the part with the small caption pic, I sooo didn't expect that. Hilarious!

And how sweet that your mum reads your blog. My mum doesn't even know how to turn on a computer :)

krista said...

that's weird.

Angie Muresan said...

I can't believe you Phoenix! You called your mom weird? Just kidding. I actually love it. Hahaha...

Anonymous said...

Ah ha ... that was hilarious :)

Jo said...

Hahaha! I can totally picture this all going down! What a visual!
I can actually picture a similar conversation with my family, only my mom would probably be teary. Sometimes I hate technology. ;)

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