biography, nutshell version

So I promised myself that when I got to 50 followers (don't laugh, oh ye of the 900 followers; I never thought I'd have more than 5 people reading this random thing) I'd write a short(ish) bio introducing myself for those new to following my blog, or just visiting, or really really bored.

I was born in a very small town in New Hampshire in a big house on a dead end street. Across the street from my home were the woods and streams and fields where I played all day in the summertime, and I'd come home at night covered in dirt, ticks, and stained with blackberry and raspberry juice. To this day, I hold a special place in my heart for trees and streams and dirt and picking berries. The ticks can shove it.

Highlights from my youth include the time my parents gave the family dog away while I was over at a friend's house and the time my mom decided to dress me up as a Christmas present for the annual Christmas parade down main street. I wore a huge box wrapped in Christmas paper that had holes for my head, arms, and legs, but it was too heavy for my little body, so as I marched in the parade, in the middle of the street, I leaned back too far and lost my balance, landing flat on my back in the box. But because the box was too big and heavy I couldn't regain my footing so all I could do was kick my little legs and flail out my arms like a special needs turtle while the entire town pointed and laughed at me.

No, I'm not kidding. Thanks, mom.

At age nine I moved to Southern California and did elementary school, middle school, high school and then college in Orange County, getting a BFA in Make Believe (with an emphasis in Bad Childhood) from Chapman University and studying abroad for a semester in London.

When I was twelve I was eating sushi and visiting Buddhist temples in Japan, when I was fourteen I was hiking around the base of the Matterhorn in Switzerland and eating bratwurst in Germany, and when I graduated from high school my best friend and I went on a twenty day tour of England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.

I have flown in a helicopter, reached over the side of a sailing boat to pet wild dolphins, bought a painting of the Eiffel Tower from a street artist in Paris, seen Michelangelo's David in Italy, danced in clubs in London, consumed Belgian waffles as my dinner in a dark corner of Brussels, accidentally opened the shower doors on three naked and surprised Welshmen at a hostel in Wales, sung "Hey Jude" at the top of my lungs with the rest of the crowd at Temple Bar in Dublin, bought puppet masks in the marketplace in the capital of the Czech Republic, eaten bangers and mash and fish and chips (but not together, ew), walked the red light district in Amsterdam, and snorkeled with hundreds of jellyfish in Bermuda (and wasn't stung).

I have hit myself in the teeth with my own nunchucks, I have been carded for buying root beer, I have been in the same room with a very cranky ghost, I have called 911 more times than I'd ever like to talk about, I have jumped on a trampoline and socked myself in the eye with my own knee, I have had a horse sneeze on my face, I have broken three boards stacked together with my flying side kick during my black belt test, I have ridden in an ambulance, I have been pulled over by a police officer while breaking about six laws and driven away with only a warning, I have washed blood out of my clothes, I have been the girl dancing on the speakers at a club, I have seen an entire Green Day concert from six feet away on stage because I was admitted into the private sound check, I have walked into a tree and given myself a concussion, and I once accidentally called Pamela Anderson stupid to her face.

(Whoops.)

I'm exceptionally bad at most sports involving balance and/or wheels, or that require me to have any sort of lasting endurance past about 8 minutes. This is why I don't jog. Or skateboard. My mini golf scores are obscenely high, my bowling scores are disgustingly low, my Ikea furniture building success rate is about 87%, I was a vegetarian for approximately 8 months in college, I don't usually kiss boys on the first date because I'm a little shy, and I'm a good listener. In fifth grade, when all the other kids in class said they wanted to grow up and be doctors, lawyers, or ballerinas, I told the class I wanted to be a translator for the United Nations.

Some day I want to learn how to drive stick shift, shoot pool and guns better, play the guitar, and do a proper handstand. I also want to learn American Sign Language, Greek, and Parkour.

And if I ruled the world I would bring back the tv show Firefly, and I'd make sure that toilet paper, clean water, and AIDS medication was free and available to anyone who needed it. I'd also change how Quantum Leap ended.

I write, I act, I take photographs, and I blog.