Tuesday, March 15, 2011

balancing act

These are the words I'm forcing myself to write.

I have not written a post in the last couple weeks because I literally had no idea what to write about. It's not that there's nothing going on in my life. There's actually tons. Producer session callbacks for major tv shows, hanging out with friends, throwing a Dr. Seuss themed baby shower for friends who are set to have their first baby any day now, a second semester of American Sign Language that I'm taking, events, trips, surprises... you name it, it's been happening, and I've been high on life. I've been so deliriously happy and grateful.

And yet.

I can't help but feel so saddened by the events that are going on in the world. Earthquakes, tsunami's, floods, drought... from Haiti to New Zealand to Australia to Japan...

What right do I have to post about my little life when there is so much loss and sadness in the world? What right do I have to be happy with my Stuff and my Things when I go to bed at night and when I wake up the next morning there are ten thousand less people on this planet?

It seems like there is a huge lack of balance in the world right now. And because of that, I've been feeling unbalanced in my own life. I swing from joyous about my own life to discouraged about others. And I have been trying to share my "wealth" with others, in the form of money donated, time and energy spent, gratitude and graciousness towards others expressed... but everything still feels so extreme and out of balance.

What on earth could I possibly blog about that could make whatever I have to say anything less than trivial?

Just this: that balance is achieved, one step at a time, not through guilt at the blessings we have, nor ingratitude of them, not through ignorance of what is happening to others, nor journalistic voyeurism, but through love. Love of each other, across oceans and tectonic plates and political parties and religious beliefs. And it is right, when we have been feeling lack, to receive joy and love into our lives, to celebrate. And it is right, when we have an abundance of joy and love in our lives, to share it with others, across oceans and tectonic plates and political parties and religious beliefs.

The sentences above is the only tiny, humble thing I have to offer right now to those of you who read my blog. I hope it is enough.

"I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: but by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality."

Balance. Pure and simple. And loving.

35 comments:

Snowbrush said...

What a heartfelt post!

Taylor K said...

exactly!

g. fox said...

well said, my dear. you are a light in this world.

rosaria said...

You have the same feelings we all have.
Keeping a balancing act is all we can do.

Dirty Girl Gardening said...

I loathe baby showers but the one you are throwing sounds awesome!

JJ said...

You have an absolute right to enjoy your life to the fullest. Nothing should ever rain on your parade. Negative things will always occur in this world, and unless there are people out there willing to focus only on the positive, the entire planet will turn negative. The best way to help the planet - share what you have and enjoy!

Anthony Duce said...

I appreciate the turmoil, the feelings as expressed. I agree with you. Keeping a balance, even when everything seems lopsided, is the right approach.

Jo said...

I agree...share and put that positive energy out there! I'm happy to hear that things are going well for you!
xox

Elisabeth said...

When the world is struck by so many repeat tragedies, the worse now in Japan, it's not hard to feel humbled and ashamed of all our own seemingly petty concerns.

They are not petty of course. We each of us matter. It does not mean we deny, but it would not help anyone if we were all to stop in our tracks because others have been stopped.

This is a time for mourning and mourning is a process of coming to terms with loss and hopefully in the end making the decision not to join the dead but to go on living, keeping those who have perished alive in our memories.

Two Tigers said...

It is so important to shake off this kind of guilt when we are up and others are down, and instead do what we can to spread joy, whether it be through resources we have that others lack, or just writing about some good things for a change. It is neither frivolous nor callous when thoughtfully done, as you have. Believe me, dear friend, there is so much bad news to be had lately, it makes me very happy to read about someone enjoying life! By all means, continue to do your part to keep that balance in the universe.

kj said...

tracy, i cannot aptly express how much i respect and appreciate who you are and how you think. i understand this totally.

i remind myself that i believe in abundance; that there is enough. bad decisions and stupid greed alter that and even when left along nature has its own rhythms, but at its core, i know that honoring a belief in abundance contributes good and hopeful energy into the planet, the universe.

you do what we can with grace and kindness. every step, every intention counts.

you have so much to share; starting with simply who you are.


kj

Bathwater said...

I think you deserve all the happiness that comes your way. You wisdom and words have a way of cutting through my confusion with insight and direction for my thoughts.

Des said...

Whoa, what a schedule. You have a lot going on. And I agree these events really make us appreciate our friends and family and how important it is to have love in our lives.

Joker_SATX said...

Your posts are needed. Consider them part of establishing balance in the world.

Yeah, lots of news events going on. However, it is always refreshing to come here, where I as a reader, can let a breath of relief out and catch up with one of my favorite bloggers.

Never lose sight of the significance your blog posts have on others.

Gwen said...

Your writing is always so beautiful, heartfelt and even a ray of sunshine when all of the news is so gray. Keeping joy in your life even during sad times is hard but important also. Love you friend!

Kate said...

My friend flew out to Japan a couple of days to help with the rescue effort - I have nothing but admiration for her.

You deserve nothing but good things to come your way. All of the natural disasters have certainly made me appreciate everything I have in my life, even the little things.

Wine and Words said...

Your happiness delights me, and is well deserved. You are so positive and your spirit is generous. I am more than a little envious of how well you do life. How well you live.

XO

Robin said...

So hard to focus on the positive when all we see and hear about is negative, but that is how we achieve balance. Great reminder.

Natalie Rose said...

Well put.

I've wondered lately if the happiness I feel on a daily basis is selfish, if I should be mourning or being a little more solemn in light of the tragedy occurring across the globe...or if the few tears that I did shed over Japan's crisis were such a miniscule emotional gesture they were nearly mocking?

You're right. Love is the path to balance.

drollgirl said...

you are so right. so much heartache in the world right now, but some happiness too. it is possible to feel both emotions at the same time.

i recently lost a good friend and was bawling and bawling with pain, but then i found myself laughing while playing with a kitty. and then crying and crying again. i guess we have to look for happiness wherever we can find it, but acknowledge and empathize with sadness and try to help with it when we can.

Barbara said...

A really thoughtful post. I have been most interested in reading blogs today....we are all feeling strongly about what is going on in the world, but we really have no control over events. Which is upsetting. All we can do is pray, donate when we can and hope things right themselves in time. Life is never easy, but we can't let it get us down.

Heather Taylor said...

You have a wonderful and giving heart Tracy and I only wish everyone else experiencing such happiness would be as kind as you. You should enjoy everything you've received because you have truly earned it. I know it's a difficult time in the world, but you are aware of this and give to the fullest that you can. Love your spirit!

Dave said...

I think it's safe to say the world's a little crazy right now. It's good to hear you're on the up side.
I finally made it to Cali yesterday, but I didn't get off the plane. (does that still count?)

Heather said...

Amazing post, chic! I feel the same way. It's got me in this weird solemn state most of the time. But we DO deserve to enjoy what we have....

Heather said...

and P.S. I LOVE Dr. Suess! That's an amazing theme for a baby shower :) If only I were so creative. Someday...lol

Kris said...

Balancing and loving? Sounds perfect! Hope you are well.

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

I do have the same feelings~
we need to continue to have balance always!

xo*

Lori ann said...

i've been feeling the same tracy. you are so lovely to put it into perfect words.

i'm SO glad so much good is happening in your life, go ahead and write about it. it's okay to be grateful for the blessings you have.
much love,
lori

Dionne said...

So true. I feel the same way. Everything else seems so insignificant compared to the horrors happening around the world.

Okie said...

Well said. Life and everything is truly a balancing act. In the overall sense of things, much of what we do day-in and day-out is very trivial and insignificant. Truly, it's the people around us that we can influence and who influence us that make life what it is.

Well said.

We just keep pushing on and try to make the most of what we have. Sometimes even the most trivial thing we do can have an impact on someone else.

drollgirl said...

thanks so much for your sweet comment, and you totally get the pet loss thing. i think anyone that has lost a pet can relate. wah!

my sister lost several kitties to coyotes. it is a dog eat dog/cat eat cat/coyote eat whatever is available kind of world out there!

hope you have a nice weekend. hugs to you. :)

Nick Thomas said...

I do not like baby showers.
I do not like them with a Seuss.
I do not like them with a moose.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.

Maggie May said...

more than enough xo

Ed Pilolla said...

what a treat to read this.
:)
shine on, girl.

Nick Thomas said...

I don't like baby showers... ever since I was a baby... and forced to have one.

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