tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post4301830999899076183..comments2023-08-21T04:45:51.054-07:00Comments on Res ipsa loquitur: I'm not dead/ just floatingPhoenixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07477498671080132176noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-80399943273355178882011-09-16T08:28:44.178-07:002011-09-16T08:28:44.178-07:00Oh all my friends, the ones who battle depression ...Oh all my friends, the ones who battle depression are the ones who radiate creativity, compassion and acceptance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-77833182730590096442011-08-15T20:16:14.568-07:002011-08-15T20:16:14.568-07:00I missed this post because I am a lazy ass. Arse.
...I missed this post because I am a lazy ass. Arse.<br /><br />Arse is what they say in Ireland.<br /><br />He's a lazy arsehole!<br /><br />That's me.<br /><br />I sat on the steps this evening with my stepdaughter. She's my daughter in my heart, but my step via blood.<br /><br />We sat on the front steps, on that concrete leading up to the house, me drinking my second dark Belgian Ale -- which if you ask me tastes like a fine dessert -- her drinking her bottled water.<br /><br />She's eleven and as beautiful as her mother. Sometimes it's like going back in time to sit with her.<br /><br />We looked at the moon.<br /><br />It's a near-full moon tonight, and over Dallas the skies are covered with a thick blanket of mist.<br /><br />Clouds are mist, you know, sky-fog.<br /><br />The moon looked half-full. Then it disappeared. Then it was half-full but the bottom half, not the top.<br /><br />Then it was full and gone again.<br /><br />It is a werewolf moon tonight, the sort that makes you want to howl.<br /><br />She and I howled. We made up ghost stories, and talked about cats. We call the rabbits cats, and say there are feral kitties nibbling in our gardens with long ears and fluffy pink tails. She thinks that's funny, and I laugh even if I don't fully understand why it's funny.<br /><br />It is what it is, when you're floating my dear. You float.<br /><br />It's effortless.<br /><br />You stop thinking. You exist. You let life swirl around you like the fucked-up whirlpool it is and try not to sink like the turd you are.<br /><br />God that's sick. I've never claimed to be otherwise.<br /><br />I spent most of the day depressed for no good reason.<br /><br />But watching the moon with my step-daughter, my daughter, a girl-going-on-woman, I found a little snippet of happiness, and like that dog on a bone I gobbled it down and tried like hell not to sink.<br /><br />Float float float.<br /><br />I've missed you as well, more than most, more than the rest, more than them all combined. It's your heart I miss, that beautiful heart.<br /><br />But don't tell anyone that.<br /><br />Especially Benny. He might kick my arse.<br /><br /><br /> - EricEric W. Tranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13842968931062056407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-28139549610807841012011-08-11T15:36:22.959-07:002011-08-11T15:36:22.959-07:00i'm currently buying you an ice-cream, althoug...i'm currently buying you an ice-cream, although I guess I will have to eat it for you too what with you being so far away n'all ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-55733016363582065672011-08-08T21:58:40.737-07:002011-08-08T21:58:40.737-07:00ah honey, i'm sorry. you don't deserve to ...ah honey, i'm sorry. you don't deserve to feel this way, i don't like to see anyone hurting.<br /><br />how we all approach our blogs is as different as our fingerprints. i think the only rule to follow is to be yourself and do what feels right to you.<br /><br />i found that when i went through my divorce (and filled too many pages with sadness and misery) i HATED reading what i'd written. for me, to write negative is to dwell in it too. But i know depression is a different thing altogther and i hope you know that what ever you do writing or not, you'll have the support of so many people that love you. me of course included.<br /><br />and because i'm such a mom (wanting everyone to be happy), i LOVED the way you ended this post, yay for all the good things coming your way.Lori annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02860428306713379828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-18785404168486654722011-08-08T21:49:20.603-07:002011-08-08T21:49:20.603-07:00totally understand. I think there are a lot of peo...totally understand. I think there are a lot of people who are right there with you, it's just hard to admit. I always admire your honesty though, I really do. you're such a beautiful spirit. no matter what you post about, that's what I always see through the words. sending you lots of love and light! and I'll take some to carry me through the week too :)Carissa Thilgenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17461334542105430269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-38786029844981058772011-08-08T13:34:11.685-07:002011-08-08T13:34:11.685-07:00I know how you are feeling. I tend to be the same ...I know how you are feeling. I tend to be the same way. I tend to pull back. I don't like sharing the bad stuff because I don't think that people really want to hear about it. Especially when it is the same crap recycled over and over. So, I just pull back and wait for things to get better. And wait and wait and wait. However, you are very much loved. I am now and will always be rooting for you.Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14932408372240147454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-16084378464052979732011-08-06T11:01:27.777-07:002011-08-06T11:01:27.777-07:00nothing wrong with taking a step back, even an ext...nothing wrong with taking a step back, even an extended one. thanks for sharing about your depression. i have been battling depression for more than two years. it is indeed a demon. you are so perfectly accurate about the blog and why we don't want to write about shit in our lives. i find your energy so honest and genuine. some people know exactly what to blog about, some are bound to consistently reflect on their content, like us, i think. as lira sez, love and light. i'm very blessed to know you here:) a new car, huh? ah, movie stars...Ed Pilollahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09139531369534586168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-41801804380929327542011-08-04T08:56:52.097-07:002011-08-04T08:56:52.097-07:00Automobiles are the downfall of the human race! (o...Automobiles are the downfall of the human race! (okay, that's not true, but they sure can be a pain in the ass) Maybe you should buy a gas economical Harley, and then you could proudly proclaim yourself scooter trash! Ofcourse it kinda sucks when it's hot, rains, or you'd like to arrive with decent hair.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08333856951629944254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-65716708604168532112011-08-01T11:04:38.515-07:002011-08-01T11:04:38.515-07:00I know the feeling of what NOT working out can do ...I know the feeling of what NOT working out can do to your soul. It's so important on so many levels. Hopefully you'll get something in. I would suggest walking but you are probably like me and walking does NOTHING for you workout wise. Walking is nothing. It's nice for leisure but I don't get a rise out of it otherwise.Pretty Zestyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05066119133197587199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-16118017122499201492011-08-01T10:01:52.213-07:002011-08-01T10:01:52.213-07:00I understand what you are talking about. Every day...I understand what you are talking about. Every day is a struggle for me, and I often wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. It's easy to blame it on something/someone else, but to be honest, I guess we are in control of our own lives. Don't let depression get the best of you! You are so strong and inspiring to a lot of us and I hope you find it in you to keep marching ahead!Miss Sweet Teahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03804351920554985081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-54219342050105246632011-07-30T17:16:24.121-07:002011-07-30T17:16:24.121-07:00I hope you don't watch TV. If you do, stop. Ha...I hope you don't watch TV. If you do, stop. Hang in there and be well.JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14692103477055483000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-45038895868271760362011-07-29T12:46:36.509-07:002011-07-29T12:46:36.509-07:00Depression is hard. I once wrote that I have to di...Depression is hard. I once wrote that I have to dig myself out of a pit before I even start my day. I also was out of options, so I got my sad ass to the pharmacy. It's helping. Never an easy fix though...there are dosing questions, and brand questions, and side effects to deal with. But I am engaged and excited about my life again. My creativity is back and I am making things with my hands, learning the guitar again and constantly have a camera in my hands. I cry rarely, but still can (important.) I take just enough meds to keep the wolves at bay, but not enough that I don't FEEL. Ya know you can talk to me about it anytime. You know where to reach me girlfriend. Hugs, prayers, and a pat on the back. You're figuring it out. I see you working so hard.Wine and Wordshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06778785233226804217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-31027288076190738452011-07-29T11:25:03.471-07:002011-07-29T11:25:03.471-07:00Welcome back! I have also been a blog slacker late...Welcome back! I have also been a blog slacker lately. Hoping to make a return in the next month or so....<br /><br />We shall see.Taylor Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08829604623221972335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-70356215799381608712011-07-29T11:03:56.046-07:002011-07-29T11:03:56.046-07:00Every day, another step forward my friend. We'...Every day, another step forward my friend. We're with you all the way.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10038190964528332030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-54793463178879414492011-07-29T09:16:58.330-07:002011-07-29T09:16:58.330-07:00I am so glad you stepped back into this blog, I re...I am so glad you stepped back into this blog, I really missed you! And by you, I mean the one with nothing but inspiring strength radiating from her and also the one who gets down and gets beat sometimes. Maybe it took a step away to realize how much your blogfriends appreciate everything that you are, good and bad, so that is a good thing in the end! About drugless ways to keep depression manageable...I hear ya. When I am getting plenty of exercise, including meditation, nothing can drag me into the pit. I've lately slacked off on the fitness and I can see the results in that every little obstacle looms larger and darker. Only the part of my mind that knows this is a biochemical effect and not the true tragedy it seems to be saves me. So, how about we both vow to take a walk or hit the gym a few times a week and sit quietly for ten minutes every day? Be well, my friend.Gisizeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08842508709852026701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-51569850857507458672011-07-29T03:44:37.817-07:002011-07-29T03:44:37.817-07:00you just keep breathing girl. we're all behind...you just keep breathing girl. we're all behind you.g. foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10862120205981862267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-7380560507232330992011-07-29T03:27:08.595-07:002011-07-29T03:27:08.595-07:00"I see now that with blogger friends like you..."I see now that with blogger friends like you guys, I didn't need to step back."<br /><br />Ah, thank you.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-36314786499335882232011-07-28T22:52:25.640-07:002011-07-28T22:52:25.640-07:00I like the idea of using my blog as a diary... Whe...I like the idea of using my blog as a diary... When my Dad died, I started journaling... my Dad's Death Journal morphed into My Divorce Journal in the matter of just a few months. I don't mind others reading my thoughts about my hurts and all, but there have been several people to find my blog that know me... and I have started hiding parts of me away... not writing about them... and I don't like that.<br /><br />Survive the bad days... and have a Hell of a lot of fun with the good days...<br /><br />You are going to be ok...<br /><br />And you are right about Bathwater... he really is a great guy!<br /><br />~shoes~Red Shoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01919277206516592912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-2209304825742165892011-07-28T21:08:18.433-07:002011-07-28T21:08:18.433-07:00such true honest words. i struggle with this too, ...such true honest words. i struggle with this too, or maybe it's my ego that struggles: i have the damnest time sharing those struggles until i have a handle on them. then i can look together again and talk about how i made it through a hard time--past tense of course!<br /><br />i admire you and i want the universe to reassure you. :^) i think the new car is a good move. you deserve that absence of stress. <br /><br />and tracey, you are right that this is a place you can be your real self. there is support here. and you are definitely not walking your path alone! look! can you see me?<br /><br />love<br />kjkjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15122196887043345981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-62051717480944250542011-07-28T18:28:18.650-07:002011-07-28T18:28:18.650-07:00love and light, love and light. and carmax.<3love and light, love and light. and carmax.<3Lira Kellermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17642476041389723474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-142287751037233827.post-12416068507039245942011-07-28T18:25:51.050-07:002011-07-28T18:25:51.050-07:00You should know by now, it takes a lot to shut me ...You should know by now, it takes a lot to shut me out ;). I don't like seeing you do bad because you are inspirational but it also makes you human. We can all relate to that. There wouldn't be much to read on my blog if I cut out all the bad now would there. But then again I might never meet you through it either.<br /><br />Congratulations on buying a new car. Treat it well and keep it for ever. It is not a bad investment when your comfort is at stack. Keep fighting the bad days you are a better, healthier person for it.Bathwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18286545216706532921noreply@blogger.com